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Olivia Wilde: Divorcing young had its benefits

2012-02-04T15:01:56Z

In our last post, we told Texas readers about a study that found that divorce might be easier on older couples. However, one actress, who was divorced at 27, said she, for one, found the silver lining in ending her marriage early on in life.

Olivia Wilde, whom Houston residents might have seen in last summer's popcorn flick "Cowboys & Aliens," got married when she was 18. She said she still has the utmost respect and compassion for her former husband, but filed for divorce about a year ago after their feelings for one another changed.

]]> Wilde admitted that, at first, the idea of separating from her husband was hard on her. But she said after she got over that initial sadness and remorse, she felt she had a newfound sense of independence. She said that she had to learn to rely on herself when times were hard and that gave her a renewed sense of confidence. Wilde also said that going through her divorce helped her become a better actress because it brought her in touch with new emotions.

Of course, Wilde is speaking only about her own experience. Divorce, as we have said, is not an easy thing to do and is not a step anyone should ever take carelessly. But Wilde's words do show that, for certain marriages, divorce really can be the right move. Divorce does not have to be a long, drawn-out and painful affair, either. Working with a divorce attorney who understands your needs and your goals can go a long way towards making sure you and your soon-to-be-ex-spouse can separate cleanly and smoothly.

Source: People Magazine, "What Olivia Wilde Says is 'Good' About Getting Divorced Young," Liz Raftery, Feb. 2, 2012

Study suggests divorce may be easier on older couples

2012-02-02T00:34:26Z

Getting out of a marriage is a decision that few people take lightly. There's a relationship there to protect, sometimes children involved and financial security to think about. But for many couples every year, the benefits of getting a divorce outweigh the cons and they move forward with that emotional life decision.

The decision is not always easy for even the unhappily married to make. They might wonder whether life after a split will be happier and less stressful. Being single, as many of us can probably remember, has its own stresses. The Huffington Post reports on a study that suggests maybe the young are not as well-equipped to handle the stress of divorce compared to their elders.

]]> A researcher from Michigan State University followed more than 1,200 subjects over the course of 15 years. She compared their relationship status (whether they remained married or got divorced) to health issues and came up with a notable conclusion. The subjects who divorced at a younger age dealt with more health issues throughout the span of time than those who waited longer to split.

What are the possible theories behind the health trend? The researcher suggests that along with age comes maturity, and those who divorced when they were older had better skills to cope with the change and move on. She also suspects that those who have been married longer are most unhappy in their marriages, making it less difficult to find relief post-split.

This study shouldn't prevent the unhappily married and young from considering a divorce if that's what they think would make them happiest in the long run. The report says nothing about whether the subjects who divorced at a younger age ever regretted making that family decision. Sometimes peace of mind and the hope of finding the right person outweighs the stress of even health issues.

Source

The Huffington Post: "Divorce Study: Splitting More Painful At Younger Age," Jan. 30, 2012

Halle Berry reconsiders child custody agreement with ex

2012-01-30T00:07:57Z

For the most part, family courts see keeping both parents involved in children's lives as the ideal circumstance. Children benefit from spending time with both parents, assuming that each parent can create a healthy, safe environment for a child. But there are times when limiting a parent's access to a child is what's in the child's best interest.

We are currently seeing this matter play out at the celebrity level. Halle Berry and her ex Gabriel Aubry were never married, but they had a child together. When they broke up, they had to come to an agreement regarding child custody. That agreement could now be in need of an update.

]]> Last week, reports came out that an altercation occurred between Aubry and the family nanny. The nanny filed a police report that says Aubry acted out when she visited him at his home. Aubry now faces battery and child endangerment charges as a result of the report.

The nanny reportedly went to pick up Aubry and Berry's child at school but found that she didn't attend that day. She then visited Aubry's home and asked why he hadn't taken the child to school. That's when the nanny claims that Aubry became upset and ultimately pushed her while she was holding the child.

When Berry learned about the alleged altercation, she became involved in the investigation of the incident. She reportedly wants a judge to change the child custody arrangement, at least until the investigation is complete. It makes sense that a parent would want to keep her child from the other parent if he is accused of violence.

A judge has not yet made a decision, but one is expected to be made this week. We will post an update with any new developments.

Source

Daily Mail: "Halle Berry's ex Gabriel Aubry is formally quizzed by child protection services over nanny attack allegations," Georgina Littlejohn, Jan. 27, 2012

Another music star becomes target of paternity accusation

2012-01-25T16:20:39Z

It's not a secret that teen heartthrob Justin Bieber has recently been involved in a surprising paternity dispute. The public has found some humor in the idea that the baby-faced singer who's dating a former Disney star would have gotten a woman pregnant after a concert. Bieber has consistently denied the allegation that he's the father of any child.

Just when it seemed like that paternity dispute had blown over, another music star is being accused of fathering a child. This time, it's a more mature star, rapper Rick Ross. While the star's age and history make him a less shocking target of paternity rumors, Ross is taking the same route as Bieber by denying his involvement with the child's mother.

]]> The child at the center of this family law dispute is 3 years old, and his mother has filed the paternity suit in order to help support the boy. She argues that Ross is the father and that he has never paid a dime toward the boy. Whether Ross knew anything about the child before the suit was filed is undisclosed.

TMZ reports that Ross passionately denies not only that he is the father but that he was never with the boy's mother. This argument echoes Bieber's claims regarding the paternity suit that was filed against him. And just like Bieber, Ross reportedly also wants to prove he is not the father by taking a DNA test.

If he is found to be the father, Ross will owe child support and be required to pay up. Sources report that the mother desperately needs financial help. Child support isn't the only issue to consider should paternity be established. If Ross were to feel that he wanted to be a part of the child's life, a positive paternity test would give him ammunition to seek child custody or visitation rights.

Source

TMZ: "Rick Ross Fires Back at Alleged Baby Mama...I'm Not the Daddy!" Jan. 20, 2012

Study: Women using education to pick selves up after divorce

2012-01-23T02:26:37Z

Deciding to get a divorce can be a scary, emotional decision. It can be especially daunting for the person in the marriage who might not make as much money as their spouse. Will they be able to support themselves and their kids if they leave the marriage?

Often times, it is the woman who feels she is risking financial security the most in a divorce. A recent report about finances after divorce, however, suggests that the risk is worth it for many ladies. They are working hard and earning their own living.

]]> A new Pew Research Center study shows that women are not only doing okay after divorce, but they are financially thriving. On average, divorced women's independent incomes increase by 25 percent after a split. Men's incomes increase, too, but not as significantly. Their increase is 16 percent on average.

This information comes from The Huffington Post, and the piece does not delve into thorough details of the study. The statistics, while seemingly positive, present some questions related to the findings. For example, are women earning more after divorce because they have to work more hours? Or are they actually bringing in higher salaries?

A financial professional suggests women are getting more education, and their advanced skills and degrees lead to bigger jobs with more pay. If this is true, it sounds like divorce truly does allow for a fresh start for women, wherein they are self-sufficient and professionally accomplished.

What do you think about this study? Does it sound about right to you? Are you divorced and find that you fit into the picture of this statistic?

Source

The Huffington Post: "Divorce Income Gap: Pew Findings Discussed On 'This Morning,'" Jan. 19, 2012

Deion Sanders' Texas divorce heats up

2012-01-19T19:23:45Z

In a previous divorce post, we discussed famous athlete Deion Sanders and the ending of his marriage to his estranged wife Pilar. They have been married for about 12 years and have three children together. What looked like it might have been an amicable divorce, however, seems to have taken a turn for the nasty.

In the past post, we noted that Pilar didn't want out of the marriage. She was supposedly hoping to work on the relationship, despite the fact that Deion had filed for their Texas divorce. But her attitude regarding the divorce has changed. This means that a contested divorce is ahead of the family, including a fight for child custody and money.

]]> According to USA Today, Pilar hasn't just turned and decided that she wants out of the high-profile marriage. She's throwing out some pretty serious accusations against her estranged husband. She claims that he was abusive toward her and that he engaged in infidelity multiple times while she cared for their children.

Arguments such as those will likely be used to support Pilar's reported hopes of getting the couple's prenuptial agreement thrown out, as well as getting full custody of their children. Whether a court would agree to such terms is for the future to tell.

When a prenuptial agreement exists in a marriage, it is somewhat notable that one spouse would try to get it tossed out. This will likely create a great amount of drama and accusation launching into the couple's divorce process. Creating a prenuptial agreement is usually a way to try to avoid a contentious divorce. But whatever is in the agreement apparently must not satisfy Pilar's expectations of what she has earned by being half of her marriage.

When there are more details about this high-profile, high-asset divorce, we will post an update.

Source

USA Today (blog): "Deion Sanders' divorce takes a contentious turn," Tom Weir, Jan. 18, 2012

After divorce, take time to find the new you, part 2

2012-01-16T18:57:35Z

Moving on after a divorce can be challenging for many reasons. In part one of this series we discussed a counselor's advice, including how picking up where you left off before you were married might not be the best or easiest option.

The experiences of marriage and divorce change you, and it's important to take the time to find what you really need to move forward in your life and find the happiness you deserve as the person you are now. Following are a couple of more tips about intentionally starting over after divorce.

]]> While self-reflection is definitely a key component of achieving the new life you are meant to live, finding others that will support you is also important. While you may find some of your friends and family have a good understanding of what you are going through, it's important to spend time with people who are positive and help you stay positive about your future. Complaining about your ex may be tempting, but ultimately the negativity is toxic. If you don't find positive influences readily available, go and find new ones. Taking time to volunteer or take a community class are both good ways to introduce yourself to a fresh perspective.

As you spend more and more time nurturing the new you and finding others that support you, you will begin to discover your passion and how you want to pursue it. Your new dreams may have some elements of old dreams, but you will likely find that they have new twists you didn't expect.

Don't be afraid to let yourself be surprised and let your life go on tangents you may not have expected. Whatever dreams emerge, make a healthy plan to make them a reality. Going through a divorce does not have to define you, but the fresh perspective you gain from the experience can fuel a side of you that you may not have known existed and help you live the life you were meant to live.

Source

The Huffington Post: "The Power of Intentions - Thriving Through Divorce," Melanie Gorman, Jan. 10, 2012

After divorce, take time to find the new you, part 1

2012-01-13T02:18:01Z

In the U.S., more divorces occur in January than in any other month. For some this is due to trying to put on too brave of a face during the holidays. Others ride the "starting over" mentality that happens for many in January. And others choose the month for financial reasons.

Regardless of someone's reason to file for divorce, moving forward and redefining oneself as a single person can be challenging. This two-part series will tackle some of the challenges that a person might face and how to deal with her new life after divorce, according to a counselor whose advice is featured in The Huffington Post.

]]> When striving to move forward, a person should check her emotions at the door and proceed with a certain about of rationality and even caution. Divorce can leave people with a lot of conflicting feelings, and some may even feel that they didn't have the opportunity at the end of the marriage to be who they wanted to be. This sort of attitude can make them overly anxious, wanting to make up for lost time. But leaping into too much too soon can be counterproductive. The counselor suggests that a recently divorced person writes down choices she's considering and letting them sit for a few days before acting on them. Doing so could help keep her from making rash decisions that may result in mistakes such as poor investment choices or a painful rebound relationship.

While it may be tempting to think that divorce means freedom and starting over, the counselor suggests that it can be helpful for someone to remember that she is not the same as she was before her wedding. The years and experience of living through a difficult marriage change a person. In many cases, divorce happens because both parties were at fault in some way, and there can be a certain amount of remorse when a marriage doesn't last forever. Still, it's important to forgive oneself for moving on.

This family law discussion will continue in an upcoming post.

Source

The Huffington Post: "The Power of Intentions - Thriving Through Divorce," Melanie Gorman, Jan. 10, 2012

Struggling NFL player seeks support modifications

2012-01-09T16:49:51Z

Largely, the fantasy football season is coming to an end. The excitement is now shifting toward the Super Bowl. But one NFL player seems to be lacking any optimism in his life. Terrell Owens, known for his football career but also his work on reality TV, is now being referred to by his family law attorney as "a man without a team."

In the family law world, a professional football player without a team presents a problem for any children that he might have fathered. Owens' proven paternity of multiple kids means that he has the court-ordered responsibility to pay child support for each child. When income changes, however, a parent can try to get a court to allow him to pay less in support.

]]> Owens' football career is at a relatively low point currently, and the family law judge didn't hesitate to point that out during a recent hearing. Sources report that the judge suggested to Owens that his future in football doesn't look very promising anymore. While most family law processes can be stressful and emotional, Owens probably didn't expect to get an earful about his future in the NFL.

But since Owens' reason for being in court was to try to get two child support modifications, perhaps the judge's opinion on the star's career will support his argument. Owens allegedly isn't bringing in as much money as he used to and, therefore, wants the amounts that he owes in support to reflect his decrease in income.

While the judge was quick to give his opinion about Owens' future in the league, he did reserve some decision making. He will rule on the child support modification requests at a later time.

Source

Gather, Sports: "Terrell Owens Told by Man in a Robe His NFL Career Finished?" Jan. 4, 2012

Child adoption disturbed by The Indian Child Welfare Act

2012-01-05T16:07:58Z

Throughout the county, there is a rich Native American heritage. Whether in Texas or Minnesota, there are certain areas in the states where different tribes live on their tribal lands. On those lands, tribal laws exist, laws that are different than the laws that non-Native Americans live by.

When those laws extend outside of tribal land, complications can arise. Emotions are running high among an out-of-state family who adopted a daughter back in 2009. They didn't know that the biological father was a member of the Cherokee Nation. And they didn't know, until recently, that his connection with that heritage would mean the loss of custody of their adopted child.

]]> The South Carolina couple was in the room when their adopted daughter was born. They have brought her up during the last two years. And last week, they said goodbye to the child. The emotional loss is due to a misunderstanding and a federal law that tries to keep Native American children with their biological parents.

The Indian Child Welfare Act seeks to preserve Native American culture by keeping kids and parents from the heritage together. The biological father in this child custody case challenged the adoption after it had taken place between the adoptive parents and the biological mother on the grounds that the ICWA would serve the best interests of the child.

Ultimately, the federal law worked in favor of the biological father's child custody argument. As one would expect, the formerly adoptive parents are devastated and disappointed in the outcome of this family law matter. They understand the importance of preserving culture but don't believe that this situation played out in a way that will serve the best interest of the little girl.

This case proves how important it is to approach the matter of adoption with extreme care. The ICWA is a federal law and could, therefore, affect adoptive parents in Texas and throughout the country. Families looking to adopt and protect their adoption should look into the cultural background of their prospective adopted children in order to avoid an extremely emotional misunderstanding and potential loss.

Source

Fox23.com: "SC couple fights for custody of adopted child now in OK," Adam Paluka, Jan. 4, 2011

Deion Sanders and wife still share Texas home after divorce filing

2012-01-03T15:53:35Z

Another famous athlete. Another high-profile divorce. Deion Sanders isn't just a famous athlete, but he is undoubtedly one of the most famous in the U.S. He is one of few stars to play professional football and baseball. His sports successes have landed him a luxurious Texas home, a home that he is reportedly still sharing with his wife Pilar, even though Deion filed for divorce in Texas last month.

According to ABC News, he filed the divorce papers on Dec. 21. Whereas we know that a divorce can be finalized relatively quickly in Texas, it sounds like this split might not go as smoothly as Deion would hope. Pilar reportedly wants to try to reconcile the relationship.

]]> The couple said "I do" in 1999 and have three children together, plus Deion has two other children from a prior marriage. Deion hasn't openly identified the reason why he wants the divorce, and Pilar insists that she has proven herself throughout their marriage as a devoted wife and mother.

Sources report that Deion claims that he and his estranged wife have a financial agreement that would leave her stable in the divorce. But Pilar alleges she knows of no such agreement and that she still wants to stick the marriage out. Is this just a ploy for her to try to get more out of the divorce?

We don't know if the Sanderses have a prenuptial agreement. One would think that a star like Deion would ask that one be created in order for him to protect his fortune, especially when he has other children outside of this marriage to support.

This sounds like it could turn into a high-conflict contested Texas divorce. We will follow the story and post updates with new developments.

Source

ABC News: "Pilar Sanders 'Heartbroken' Over Divorce From Deion Sanders; His Daughter Goes on Twitter Rant," Suzan Clarke, Jan. 3, 2011

Understanding the tax implications of divorce

2011-12-30T19:54:07Z

Everyone knows divorce can be sticky emotionally, but the economics of divorce can get tricky too, especially when checks are still being written to an ex-spouse after a divorce is final. Depending on how the money is allocated, there are different tax implications for both the recipient and the payer.

As part of a divorce settlement, a family law court may ask one of the spouses to pay spousal support (aka alimony), child support, or both.

]]> When child support is paid, the taxes on that money are paid by the person that pays the money. It's treated largely like any other bill. You don't get a tax break for making payments on your living room furniture. The recipient does not have to claim the money as income, so it means that the recipient and his or her children can maintain a higher standard of living without being bumped into a higher tax bracket.

Spousal support works in the opposite way. It may be ruled that one spouse continue to provide for an ex-spouse after a marriage is over whether or not the couple had children. When this happens the person paying the support gets a tax break, and the person receiving the support must claim alimony payments as income. Depending on that person's personal income from wages or other sources, this may affect their tax bracket and cause them to pay higher taxes on all their income.

While money matters may seem trivial at the time compared to issues such as child custody, it's important for both parties to look at their future financial connections with a level head and an open mind in order to find the best solution for everyone. Also, it's crucial to work with a divorce attorney and financial professionals who thoroughly understand that tax implications of divorce.

Source

The Huffington Post: "5 Money Questions To Ask Before The Year And Your Marriage Come To A Close," Gabrielle Clemens, Dec. 27, 2011

Strategies to get through the holiday as family of divorce

2011-12-23T19:19:04Z

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, there are an estimated 4 million divorced parents in the U.S. With the holiday season upon us, it's worthwhile to explore the topic of how some sources recommended that divorced families work through the holidays with the kids in mind.

Maybe this is a family's first holiday after divorce, or maybe it's been several years since the split was official. But even families who have been divorced for years can benefit from adjusting their expectations around the holiday, especially as kids grow up:

]]> Kids deserve a shot at a joyous holiday

Sure, our kids do understand and feel a lot more than they might let on about divorce, but they are still kids. They want and need this time of year to feel special, fun and magical. Parents might be feeling a bit more emotional than normal, making it hard for them to enjoy the celebration as in years past, but both parents' focus should be on how to make the holidays happy for the kids. A psychologist has found that kids tend to be happier and more willing to spend holidays with parents as they grow older if the parents healthily communicate with each other.

Be proactive planners

Even if one parent is schedule-obsessed and the other isn't, both parents need to work together to agree on how to share the kids during the holidays. This sort of arrangement can be in a custody agreement, or parents can simply put together a schedule in writing and agree to it, for the sake of the kids. Stick to the plans and keep bickering at a minimum. And never argue about the plans in front of the children.

Strategize Santa

When it comes to Christmas, let's be honest, kids are all about Santa and the presents that they receive. Kids don't always understand that one parent can't afford as much as the other, so it is wise for parents to work together in coming up with a fair gifting strategy. It's suggested that parents set spending limits and make sure that they are not simply trying to outdo each other to buy their kids' love.

These are just a few of many pieces of advice about how to keep the holidays happy for kids after a divorce. If you have more tips, please feel free to share. Have a happy holiday.

Source

CNN: "Holiday survival guide for divorced parents," Katia Hetter, Dec. 21, 2011

Parents of Beyonce finalize their Texas divorce

2011-12-21T16:16:09Z

Diva pop star Beyonce Knowles is seemingly at a great point in her life. Her career is booming, and she is expecting her first child with equally successful rap star Jay Z. But life is complicated, and while her family life is at a positive point, her parents' marriage is reportedly officially over.

A couple of years ago, reports came out that Beyonce's mother, Tina, wanted to divorce her husband. He had been unfaithful in the marriage and fathered a child outside of the union. After some postponement, the Texas divorce was finalized last month. It marks the end of a 31-year-marriage.

]]> The Knowles family is from Houston, Texas, and Beyonce inspires a lot of Texas pride through her accomplishments in music, fashion and on the big screen. Being from Texas, her parents also could benefit from the divorce laws in the state.

We have discussed the upsides of Texas' divorce laws in the past, specifically with regards to Eva Longoria's and Sandra Bullock's celebrity splits. The perk in Texas is that the divorce process doesn't have to be a long one. In uncontested situations, a couple can finalize their divorce in as little as 60 days.

Beyonce's parents, however, apparently weren't incredibly concerned with getting their divorce finalized quickly. The first divorce filing was in November 2009, but that didn't lead to any progress in the divorce because the couple never showed up for the related court hearing. Tina filed again for divorce this August, and that filing did the charm.

Now, like for so many other families, the Knowles family will need to learn how to get through the holidays as a family of divorce. While that can seem difficult, the holidays are a time of remembering what we are thankful for and starting out the New Year fresh. With the divorce behind them, maybe 2012 will be a great year of new beginnings.

Source

My Fox Houston: "Beyonce Knowles' Parents Finalize Divorce," Dec. 19, 2011

Priscilla got more than blue suede shoes out of divorce from Elvis

2011-12-18T23:34:18Z

Okay, so maybe there were no blue suede shoes to be had as part of their marital property division, but there was plenty more for Elvis and Priscilla Presley to divide when they got divorced. And now, thanks to a recent auction, we know what some of those specific property division details are.

According to reports, a Texas bidder spent about $9,000 in order to win the 1972 divorce documents that were agreed upon and signed by Elvis and Priscilla. The couple had been married for six years before they decided to divorce, a decision that Priscilla has since indicated was partly due to infidelity on both of their parts.

]]> The publicized divorce papers list the following details of what Priscilla got out of the celebrity split:

1971 Harley Davidson bike
1971 Mercedes-Benz
1969 Cadillac El Dorado
Half of the income made off of selling three real estate properties
$100,000 lump sum payment

Despite what the document says, Priscilla reportedly got out with more than the $100,000 payment from Elvis. The Daily Mail says that she turned to different representation after these papers were put together in hopes of getting more money out of the divorce. In the end, she reportedly got a $750,000 payment from Elvis, quite a difference compared to the initially agreed upon $100,000.

The papers have everything to do with division of property and don't mention child custody at all. They had one daughter, Lisa Marie, during their relatively short marriage. The papers did indicate that the couple was interested in finalizing the details of the divorce in order to save them time, money and stress.

Not even the King of Rock and Roll wanted his divorce to get him all shook up.

Source

Daily Mail: "There goes my everything: The Elvis divorce papers that handed Priscilla $100,000... plus his beloved Cadillac, Mercedes and Harley Davidson," Graham Smith, Dec. 13, 2011